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13 Reasons You’ll Wish I Never Came Home for the Holidays

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It’s finally December, woohoo, the most wonderful time of the year! You know, that time of year when travelers return home and disappoint their families and annoy their friends!

Lol just kidding. Well, sort of.

I’ve always loved Christmas, and since my life started revolving around travel it’s become even more special, because now it’s that time of year that I finally get to see my friends and family again. Amazing!

Except for the fact that, however much I promise myself I’m not going to let it happen again this year, I always return home just a little obnoxious. I’m going to blame it on jetlag + reverse culture shock. So… please just ignore me when I do all of these things, okay?

Returning home for the holidays can get a little bit awkward...

I keep “accidentally” saying words in foreign languages. 

Gomen ne!

Or worse yet, I won’t say anything at all.

Because it’s just so hard speaking English again.

Apparently no food here is as good as anything I ate abroad. 

I mean, this sausage is okay, but that sausage I had in Deutschland…

I keep giving you unsolicited travel advice.

Oh, you’re interested in architecture? You should really see the Silk Road buildings in Uzbekistan. Do you want to see my Instragram photos from there?

And I’ll keep randomly asking if you’ve visited places I’ve traveled to.

No? It’s really nice. Like, way nicer than here.

I keep talking about my new best friends I met at that hostel in Laos.

Even though you and I have literally been best friends for over half our lives.

I refuse to take off my really gross elephant pants.

And you’re just like, you have a closet now, stop living out of that freaking backpack.

You try to ask me how my trip was but the only response you get is a sigh.

Because apparently there are no words to describe what I’ve been through.

I say awkward things like “it’s really nice to be able to use toilet paper again instead of water + my hand.”

Just in case you hadn’t noticed that I’m now a backpacker.

I’ve developed an uncanny knack for turning everything you say into a conversation about Norway.

Or Thailand, or Japan, or wherever I’ve been hanging out these days.

About that Christmas turkey – can we make it tofu?

Sorry to break our tradition, but after four weeks on that ashram in India I no longer eat meat.

Speaking of food…

You’re going to have to wait to eat until after I’ve photographed all our meals because, oh hey, while I was I way I became a travel blogger. You’ve liked my Facebook page, right?

And just when you’re beginning to wish I had never come home,

I announce that I’m leaving again.

Ugh, I’m the worst friend ever. And yet somehow you continue to put up with me.

SORRY, ANN, I LOVE YOU!

And don’t worry, I was just kidding about the tofu.

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Comments

  3. So true it hurts! Although I haven’t been home for Christmas in five years, but when I do go for visits, this is how it goes. It’s tough, because your new home is so much a part of your life and your friends and family back home have no way of connecting to that.

    Reply

  4. “accidentally saying words in foreign languages” oh, have I not mentioned I’m studying Finnish 😂

    This post is so awesome, and that photo of you with the red mittens is the cutest!

    I’m pretty excited that Christmases for the next few years are going to be here in Lapland. I don’t mind spending Christmas away from home and I’m used to it, but it would be cool if some family or friends came out for it. Christmas in Lapland, that’s got to be tempting, right?

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  6. HAHA this is great!! I’m not a full time traveler by any stretch but I try not to mention my long solo trips unless asked to avoid sounding like this..but I’m sure I still do anyway… bahaha.

    Friends and family of long-term travelers deserve some sort of patience prize!

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  7. HAHA, love this and can relate to so many!

    And just always dealing with people’s: “what are your plans for the future?” No plans, just travel 😀 Or “when do you want to have kids?” or “finally get someone to marry,” etc.

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  9. This year I’ve decided to make each of my friends and family’s oh’s sound like a total fun idea.
    “Oh you still don’t have a boyfriend?” No, but I’ve been backpacking in Morocco for 2weeks and it’s been amazing!! So glad I don’t have a man to drag me down!!! I’m so lucky!!

    “Oh what are you doing with your life?” I have no idea, but I went to Spain 2weeks ago and let me tell you about that wine!!!

    This Christmas is MY Christmas!
    Travelers are taking back holidays!

    Reply

  11. I thought this was just me! It’s such a relief I’m not alone! Haha. Sometimes I can even feel myself doing it and try to stop…but I can’t! Hehehehe. I feel like all my stories start with ‘that reminds of this time in….’

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  12. haha Hilarious. I’m so obnouxiously guilty of telling stories about where I’ve been. Oh that time I was in Australia. Why can I not just tell a story without giving it’s location first?

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  13. HAHAHAHA! So true! I’m fighting a weird jet lag this time of sleeping the Entire day for 12 hours. Its hard to catch up with friends because I think all they hear from me is about that time in country a then the conversation progressed to country b and that time when I lived in country c and so on…. hahahaha Totally get it!
    p.s. check out my blog!

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  15. Haha that was funny 😂
    I think I’m mostly guilty of constantly using English words in the midst of my German sentences.
    Feeling a bit bad now that I won’t be home for the holidays, though.

    Jacky 🌞

    Reply

  19. So funny, but yet so true!

    My family think I have three heads and when I start going on about how I hiked up a volcano, slept in a casino, got mugged by kids, drank a whole cup of whisky (even though I’m not a whisky girl), ‘cos I was freaking out on the Indian train! Well, they think I’ve gone bonkers! And even though I’m married, have a child, and I’ve been living abroad as an expat for years, they whisper that perhap it’s time I came back home permanently lol!

    p.s. Not a chance! 😀

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  20. HAHAHA I love this!! I think this is how I’ve been feeling for the past 6 months since returning home and trying that American lifestyle and full-time office job!

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  21. hahaha love that! It definitely how I was when I first came back from living abroad. People are really excited to hear it all at first, but they get bored really quickly haha

    Reply

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